Hello and Salaams to all you guys out there.
I am gaining weight!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (cries, slaps forehead, wails).
ok so I suppose pregnant women are supposed to gain weight? but still, I gained a whole kg!!!! For the first three or four months, its okay if you don't gain any weight at all!!! Coz the baby is about the size of a fist!!! You don't need to put on anything! Sigh. I have my doctor's appointment today. And last time I went I told her I didn't want to put on too much as later its very hard to come off. She totally agreed, and told me as long as the baby is healthy and growing, she doesn't care if I don't put on too much. After baby no.1 I looked like baby elephant no.1 for a long time. I shudder.... I seriously have to watch what I'm eating. Blast those amazing Cinnabon rolls I gorged on!!! (It doesn't help that there are 6 more in the fridge. coutesy: guest from America).
If I just eat healthy, eat right, kid and I both are healthy, and I stay normal!!!!
Oh yeah, food turned out pretty good! masha Allah! Guest from America couldn't believe I had made it, turns out he remebers me as the kid who was always playing cricket and had some kind of hangover with Inzamam-ul-Haq's style of batting. (OK, so I even went and met him once, but thats another story). The praise felt wonderful and I made a mental note to do 2 nafl shukrana. Thanks Allah You kept my face in front of nearly ten ppl! alhamdulillah! Whats more, I tried to make sure apartment looked okay also. Hub happy too.
Nausea slightly better, alhamdulillah. Kitchen closets still not done. crap.
Gotta give baby her food. Ciao. Fee Aman Illaah
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Thursday, August 28, 2008
I want the liscence to KILL: enter 007!
Assalamualykum wa rahmatullah
I can only say this: CRAP!
The ten things post - the (dumb) magazine I sent it to thinks its too sensitive!!! for cryin' out loud, excuse me! at least its amusing and very very true! which is actually way more than I can say for their stuff I read week after week. hmph!
The serious piece I wrote (one of my best ever, if I do say so myself) has been ignored, completely!!! God, I want to go for some serious editor-bashing. Not kidding, but for real. Beat them up real nice. Just the thought makes me smile!
Did another story, (about someone I met) sent it in to Ed (was an assignment)- Ed still ignored it. Ed's junior says he will look at it. I hate it when Eds don't behave like mere mortals. No response from Ed's number 2 yet - lets hope it works, and doesn't bomb at the office, so to speak! Oh anyway, who cares? (me... sigh)
Thanks you all, helping me to calm down. Yesterday, after daaayyyys, I read some Quran n dhikr n stuff. Felt way better, wish I could do some more.
And if I had 007 liscence to kill.... (dreams happily....) some horrible people would be eliminated from the world (i'm wondering if that would include me?- lol) Gosh, I feel dizzy. until next time...
I can only say this: CRAP!
The ten things post - the (dumb) magazine I sent it to thinks its too sensitive!!! for cryin' out loud, excuse me! at least its amusing and very very true! which is actually way more than I can say for their stuff I read week after week. hmph!
The serious piece I wrote (one of my best ever, if I do say so myself) has been ignored, completely!!! God, I want to go for some serious editor-bashing. Not kidding, but for real. Beat them up real nice. Just the thought makes me smile!
Did another story, (about someone I met) sent it in to Ed (was an assignment)- Ed still ignored it. Ed's junior says he will look at it. I hate it when Eds don't behave like mere mortals. No response from Ed's number 2 yet - lets hope it works, and doesn't bomb at the office, so to speak! Oh anyway, who cares? (me... sigh)
Thanks you all, helping me to calm down. Yesterday, after daaayyyys, I read some Quran n dhikr n stuff. Felt way better, wish I could do some more.
And if I had 007 liscence to kill.... (dreams happily....) some horrible people would be eliminated from the world (i'm wondering if that would include me?- lol) Gosh, I feel dizzy. until next time...
Tuesday, August 26, 2008
ATM: fwded email
ATM
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
.25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
A new sign in the Bank Lobby reads:
"Please note that this Bank is installing new Drive-through ATM machines enabling customers to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. Customers using this new facility are requested to use the procedures outlined below when accessing their accounts. After months of careful research, MALE and FEMALE procedures have been developed. Please follow the appropriate steps for your gender:
MALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Put down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Put window up.
7. Drive off.
FEMALE PROCEDURE
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse and back up the required amount to align car window with the machine.
3. Set parking brake, put the window down.
4. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
5. Tell person on cell phone you will call them back and hang up.
6. Attempt to insert card into machine.
7. Open car door to allow easier access to machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
8. Insert card.
9. Re-insert card the right way.
10. Dig through handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
11. Enter PIN.
12. Press cancel and re-enter correct PIN.
13. Enter amount of cash required.
14. Check makeup in rear view mirror.
15. Retrieve cash and receipt.
16. Empty handbag again to locate wallet and place cash inside.
17. Write debit amount in check register and place receipt in back of checkbook.
18. Re-check makeup.
19. Drive forward 2 feet.
20. Reverse back to cash machine.
21. Retrieve card.
22. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
23. Give dirty look to irate male driver waiting behind you.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off
.25. Redial person on cell phone.
26. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
27. Release Parking Brake.
Monday, August 25, 2008
All I need is POSITIVITY!
Salaam Wa Rahmatullah.
Seriously, I'm one of the most pathetically negative people I know. I have to rise from the apparent chains I am in. I am so blessed, more than millions and should I not be thankful to Allah for that?
I have to be telling myself "I'm not feeling nauseous anymore".. (now that would be a biiig lie)... and I have to stop feeling this horrible metallic taste in my mouth (sometimes I feel as if something died in there- yuck- i know)
I am normally an active person, but these days, literally doing namaz seems to take a chunk outta me. Don't even get me started on other stuff.... and yeah.. did I mention I feel like crying all the time? I have get out of this hole I am going deeper n deeper into. Please Allah- please- help me.
Its never been this bad, this sickness. I'm never in a good mood because theres always this voice at the back of my head telling me to go puke my heart out.... I could go on and on.. but I'm afraid my readers will already be pretty grossed out.
gosh, this is one crazy post. Gotta go before more tumbles forth. (pun not intended.. haha) Give little one some dinner, insha Allah. And me, I guess I'll just go hungry (hahahahahaha..... I haven't felt hungry in weeks!!!!) Allah Hafiz
Seriously, I'm one of the most pathetically negative people I know. I have to rise from the apparent chains I am in. I am so blessed, more than millions and should I not be thankful to Allah for that?
I have to be telling myself "I'm not feeling nauseous anymore".. (now that would be a biiig lie)... and I have to stop feeling this horrible metallic taste in my mouth (sometimes I feel as if something died in there- yuck- i know)
I am normally an active person, but these days, literally doing namaz seems to take a chunk outta me. Don't even get me started on other stuff.... and yeah.. did I mention I feel like crying all the time? I have get out of this hole I am going deeper n deeper into. Please Allah- please- help me.
Its never been this bad, this sickness. I'm never in a good mood because theres always this voice at the back of my head telling me to go puke my heart out.... I could go on and on.. but I'm afraid my readers will already be pretty grossed out.
gosh, this is one crazy post. Gotta go before more tumbles forth. (pun not intended.. haha) Give little one some dinner, insha Allah. And me, I guess I'll just go hungry (hahahahahaha..... I haven't felt hungry in weeks!!!!) Allah Hafiz
Ten things never to say to a pregnant woman
I might send this in to a magazine, but that would mean the Ed would know I'm P. Not sure if I want them to know as yet... neway.. here goes
1. Are you pregnant?
If her belly enters the room eight inches before she does, she is bound to be pregnant. Don’t be surprised if she snaps back, “no I stuffed pillows under my shirt to give that appearance!”
2. Aren’t you putting on too much weight?
The answer is most likely to be “It is normal and healthy for a pregnant woman to put on around 12 kilos and I’m sure if I had been putting on too much weight my gynaecologist would have told me!”
3. These kebabs smell funny to you? But they smell perfectly fine to me!
Pregnancy is a time when a woman feels nauseous when exposed to certain foods. This may vary from person to person, and a non-pregnant person will not smell the ‘funny smell’ at all! Be fully prepared for her to launch into a lengthy explanation of how the mere smell of the revolting kebabs makes her want to puke!
4. Don’t tell me you’re crying on that dumb commercial!
Pregnant women tend to have raging hormones and can be reduced to tears pretty easily. Indeed, what someone else might perceive as a random commercial can somehow strike a chord and can make them emotional.
5. I don’t think the baby will look like you at all! After all, your first one is a replica of your mother-in-law!
Err... enough said!
6. You want to go to the loo, AGAIN?
Pregnant women tend to visit the bathroom quite often, thanks to a perpetual pressure on the bladder. Patiently stopping at yet another petrol station without any sinister cracks is sure to win her heart.
7. I think this pregnancy has been too hard on you! Look at you! Compared to your former self, you look almost ugly!
If she glowers at you and refuses to talk to you for the rest of the evening, don’t ask me why!
8. You want to have dark chocolate NOW? For heaven’s sake it’s two in the morning!
Never, ever argue with the supreme power of a pregnant woman’s craving. Chances are, when she is done describing the sinful pleasures of velvety dark chocolate, you’ll want some yourself!
9. Who would have known you’d get pregnant again? Don’t you believe in birth control?
By far, a much more sensible option is to simply say congrats, no matter how many children the couple already has. To be honest, it is none of your business!
10. Is it a boy or a girl?
If you don’t know already, there can be only two reasons for it: either the couple don’t know themselves, or in the second situation, they do know, and want to keep it to themselves! Unless you’re someone extremely close, this question can make a pregnant lady uncomfortable.
1. Are you pregnant?
If her belly enters the room eight inches before she does, she is bound to be pregnant. Don’t be surprised if she snaps back, “no I stuffed pillows under my shirt to give that appearance!”
2. Aren’t you putting on too much weight?
The answer is most likely to be “It is normal and healthy for a pregnant woman to put on around 12 kilos and I’m sure if I had been putting on too much weight my gynaecologist would have told me!”
3. These kebabs smell funny to you? But they smell perfectly fine to me!
Pregnancy is a time when a woman feels nauseous when exposed to certain foods. This may vary from person to person, and a non-pregnant person will not smell the ‘funny smell’ at all! Be fully prepared for her to launch into a lengthy explanation of how the mere smell of the revolting kebabs makes her want to puke!
4. Don’t tell me you’re crying on that dumb commercial!
Pregnant women tend to have raging hormones and can be reduced to tears pretty easily. Indeed, what someone else might perceive as a random commercial can somehow strike a chord and can make them emotional.
5. I don’t think the baby will look like you at all! After all, your first one is a replica of your mother-in-law!
Err... enough said!
6. You want to go to the loo, AGAIN?
Pregnant women tend to visit the bathroom quite often, thanks to a perpetual pressure on the bladder. Patiently stopping at yet another petrol station without any sinister cracks is sure to win her heart.
7. I think this pregnancy has been too hard on you! Look at you! Compared to your former self, you look almost ugly!
If she glowers at you and refuses to talk to you for the rest of the evening, don’t ask me why!
8. You want to have dark chocolate NOW? For heaven’s sake it’s two in the morning!
Never, ever argue with the supreme power of a pregnant woman’s craving. Chances are, when she is done describing the sinful pleasures of velvety dark chocolate, you’ll want some yourself!
9. Who would have known you’d get pregnant again? Don’t you believe in birth control?
By far, a much more sensible option is to simply say congrats, no matter how many children the couple already has. To be honest, it is none of your business!
10. Is it a boy or a girl?
If you don’t know already, there can be only two reasons for it: either the couple don’t know themselves, or in the second situation, they do know, and want to keep it to themselves! Unless you’re someone extremely close, this question can make a pregnant lady uncomfortable.
khaki rambles on
assalamualykum wa rahmatullah
I have too many things to do today... an article about someone I spoke with... and cooking, and maid won't come today, so cleaning. And yeah, them blasted kitchen closets. I haven't gotten around to doing that either. Someone is here from USA and we have to invite him for dinner... I have to cook, and cook good, not to mention make sure the house looks presentable. On the other hand we could always take him out? i don't know, the hub may agree coz of this maddening irritating unbelivable "£$"$%^" nausea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wrote a little something about being pregnant, not too bad if I do say so myself. Sent it in to an Ed I've always kinda liked. No response yet. crap.
Another thing. I heard about a family member in distress and I'm very worried. Havta pray. My kid is sitting in the bathroom shouting "mammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wash kar do".... God, she has good vocals, masha Allah, lol. I just sneezed, she is shouting saying "mamma alhamdulillah bolo" ok here goes: alhamdulillah. It certainly looks as though I will have to go and wash her... sigh...
laytah then... Fee Aman Illaah
I have too many things to do today... an article about someone I spoke with... and cooking, and maid won't come today, so cleaning. And yeah, them blasted kitchen closets. I haven't gotten around to doing that either. Someone is here from USA and we have to invite him for dinner... I have to cook, and cook good, not to mention make sure the house looks presentable. On the other hand we could always take him out? i don't know, the hub may agree coz of this maddening irritating unbelivable "£$"$%^" nausea!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wrote a little something about being pregnant, not too bad if I do say so myself. Sent it in to an Ed I've always kinda liked. No response yet. crap.
Another thing. I heard about a family member in distress and I'm very worried. Havta pray. My kid is sitting in the bathroom shouting "mammmmmaaaaaaaaaaaaaa, wash kar do".... God, she has good vocals, masha Allah, lol. I just sneezed, she is shouting saying "mamma alhamdulillah bolo" ok here goes: alhamdulillah. It certainly looks as though I will have to go and wash her... sigh...
laytah then... Fee Aman Illaah
Thursday, August 21, 2008
Alhamdulillah!
salaams
I seriously don't know how this happened. I completed my article a day before the deadline, turned it in, and the Ed seemed to like it and "hopes to use it in one issue, not sure when as yet". Wow. That is not an outright yes, but I'm hopeful she will keep her word. At least its not an out-an-out rejection! I was so taken aback I began to feel nauseous- erm.... I guess I woulda felt that anyway... so anyway my point is that alhamdulillah, thats one thing crossed off my list of gotta-do's.
If I wasn't feeling so sick, I would probably be doing something more constructive than blogging, say, cleaning up my messy kitchen cupboards. I have to get that done insha Allah, sooner rather than later...
Asr time. gotta go pray- Ma'assalaamah
I seriously don't know how this happened. I completed my article a day before the deadline, turned it in, and the Ed seemed to like it and "hopes to use it in one issue, not sure when as yet". Wow. That is not an outright yes, but I'm hopeful she will keep her word. At least its not an out-an-out rejection! I was so taken aback I began to feel nauseous- erm.... I guess I woulda felt that anyway... so anyway my point is that alhamdulillah, thats one thing crossed off my list of gotta-do's.
If I wasn't feeling so sick, I would probably be doing something more constructive than blogging, say, cleaning up my messy kitchen cupboards. I have to get that done insha Allah, sooner rather than later...
Asr time. gotta go pray- Ma'assalaamah
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Running outta time
Assalamualykum wa rahmatullah!
I'm in a bit of a mess (as usual). I promised I'd do a story for a Paki paper, just not getting around it, idea bores me completely. Its about reading culture in Dubai- please give me your opinions on that- ima grateful!
Another thing- I've been wanting to do a story for a magazine for ages and after lots of hankering by me they've finally assigned me one. This may be my chance....
I mean I think its a bit weird- I finally land an assignment and I couldn't feel worse in terms of... sickness (okay no details abt my nausea- though ofcourse I wouldn't mind, but I daresay you would.. lol!)
Another thing- I never quite loved being in pj's this much. I've always liked nightsuits n stuff but these days I'm practically living in them. Hubby has a few things to say on that though. I retort with threats of getting sick on him (brilliant I know!)
I should go shower and not change into another night-suit (even if the one I had in mind is actually quite nice) lets see, shalwar kameez? I don't care for them much, and I wear them when we have ppl over frm Pak, or when we are in Pak. I guess I don't feel like dressing up much- just an old pair of jeans with my black polo will do for now. Yaaaaaawwwn- why am I always drowsy? oh crap- I forgot my vitamins. Gotta run
I'm in a bit of a mess (as usual). I promised I'd do a story for a Paki paper, just not getting around it, idea bores me completely. Its about reading culture in Dubai- please give me your opinions on that- ima grateful!
Another thing- I've been wanting to do a story for a magazine for ages and after lots of hankering by me they've finally assigned me one. This may be my chance....
I mean I think its a bit weird- I finally land an assignment and I couldn't feel worse in terms of... sickness (okay no details abt my nausea- though ofcourse I wouldn't mind, but I daresay you would.. lol!)
Another thing- I never quite loved being in pj's this much. I've always liked nightsuits n stuff but these days I'm practically living in them. Hubby has a few things to say on that though. I retort with threats of getting sick on him (brilliant I know!)
I should go shower and not change into another night-suit (even if the one I had in mind is actually quite nice) lets see, shalwar kameez? I don't care for them much, and I wear them when we have ppl over frm Pak, or when we are in Pak. I guess I don't feel like dressing up much- just an old pair of jeans with my black polo will do for now. Yaaaaaawwwn- why am I always drowsy? oh crap- I forgot my vitamins. Gotta run
Monday, August 18, 2008
Favourite nasheeds and artistes
Zain Bhikha
- (These are my top 5 ZB nasheeds. Voice is a lot Mike Jackson, love most of his work)
- Salamun Salam
- Welcome O Ramadan
- Sabr n Shukr
- Give Thanks To Allah
- Nikah Mubarakun
Dawud Wharnsby - (Makes nasheeds with orchestra too- but the halal ones are pretty good)
- Allah Knows (duet I know)
- The Veil
- Madinatunnabi
- Stroy of Ibrahim (asalam)
Talib Al Habib - (Awesome voice, great lyrics)
- Balaghul Ulaabi (Hilya)
- Salaat al Badriyya
- Assalam Ya Habib
- Light of Dawn
- Articles of Faith
Yusuf Islam - (formerly Cat Stevens)
- I look I see
- Tala Al Badru
Junaid Jamshed - (I'm not a big fan, but I listen to him anyway coz he makes halal music, atleast the old album)
- Mere Allah Tu Karim- (not by JJ, but in the album- AWESOME!)
- Multazim pe duaa
- Meetha Meetha Pyara Pyara
- Mowla Ya Salli (I like the original version better)
Sunday, August 17, 2008
My.. ahem.. 'illness'
Salaams everyone. I'm not the kind of person who pours my heart out about my personal life... but in a rare moment of emotion...
I wrote this off the cuff, probably has a million mistakes- but anyway- here goes:
On a Thursday morning not too long ago,
Exactly why I felt so low I did not know,
I was lethargic and nauseous, all at the same time,
'Tho when I wake up, I'm usually in my prime,
And here I was feeling ugly and fat,
Unable to move from where I sat.
I found the truth in another week or so,
And then to the hospital I had to go,
"What?" I exclaimed- "you mean I am pregnant??"
Unbelieving I muttered, I was indignant!
Surely there must be a mistake somewhere,
I gave the nurse a very cold stare!
So this was my big surprise,
Blessing indeed, I have to realize,
Although I feel all nauseous and exhausted,
And from certain foods I feel revolted,
Its probably happened all for the best,
What is life if not a test?
I do feel inadequate to handle another kid,
Yet I be thankless, heaven forbid!
I leave it all to my Lord up there,
I put myself in His divine care,
I ask for the help which I have not,
And wisdom to make best of that which I've got.
Its confusing, its intimidating, at times plain scary,
Hormones running wild, I do feel contrary!
I hate being fat from deep in my heart,
Now I can explain my craving for that chocolate tart!
And my vehement aversion to Egyptian roumi cheese, (blech!)
And my sudden love-affair with green garden peas!
And yet I feel like I'm glowing deep inside,
God always has a way, I do confide,
There must be a decree, a reason for this,
What I'm scared of may in fact bring me bliss.
Hoping to strengthen my faith and belief,
I leave you with an easy sense of relief.
I wrote this off the cuff, probably has a million mistakes- but anyway- here goes:
On a Thursday morning not too long ago,
Exactly why I felt so low I did not know,
I was lethargic and nauseous, all at the same time,
'Tho when I wake up, I'm usually in my prime,
And here I was feeling ugly and fat,
Unable to move from where I sat.
I found the truth in another week or so,
And then to the hospital I had to go,
"What?" I exclaimed- "you mean I am pregnant??"
Unbelieving I muttered, I was indignant!
Surely there must be a mistake somewhere,
I gave the nurse a very cold stare!
So this was my big surprise,
Blessing indeed, I have to realize,
Although I feel all nauseous and exhausted,
And from certain foods I feel revolted,
Its probably happened all for the best,
What is life if not a test?
I do feel inadequate to handle another kid,
Yet I be thankless, heaven forbid!
I leave it all to my Lord up there,
I put myself in His divine care,
I ask for the help which I have not,
And wisdom to make best of that which I've got.
Its confusing, its intimidating, at times plain scary,
Hormones running wild, I do feel contrary!
I hate being fat from deep in my heart,
Now I can explain my craving for that chocolate tart!
And my vehement aversion to Egyptian roumi cheese, (blech!)
And my sudden love-affair with green garden peas!
And yet I feel like I'm glowing deep inside,
God always has a way, I do confide,
There must be a decree, a reason for this,
What I'm scared of may in fact bring me bliss.
Hoping to strengthen my faith and belief,
I leave you with an easy sense of relief.
The truth about my 'work'
Salaam Wa Rahmatullah...
I'm feeling soooo under the weather its not even funny! But there is a reason for it.. apart from the fact that one Ed promised to run a story on Saturday- and didn't. I'm not even surprised, kinda don't care. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was losing interest. Although I love to write, and I will always do that, even if I get published only on my own blog!!! Ha!
I'm excited about Ramadan, I'm not feeling too well these days, hope the fasting will be easy and okay and fun.
Anyway, I'm dying to give out some names... some people I wanna get even with. But its not like I'm even so mad anymore, coz I know one thing. I'm not a specialized writer- like, say- most people have an area of specialization. Either sports, or politics, or automoblies, or reporting, or fashion, perhaps feature writing... and so on. As for me, I do a bit of everything. A bit of reporting, bit of feature writing, and ofcourse my good ol' random humour which I'm afraid doesn't really have a constant market. You get published once in a while, but most Eds want a specialized kick--- (sorry for the French) writer who can deliver a steady standard of work. (In fact with my experience and credentials, I'm surprised people saw it fit to publish my work all the times they did. Dad always says: "tauba tauba akhbaron ke kafi bure din aa gaye hain". I couldn't agree more, lol)
And you get essay-cloumnist status at 55, not at 22, (as I'd once hoped). At least not unless you're a Brit who is fairly young and gets away with writing crap. (Anyone guess who I'm talking about?).
I'm learning the ropes of the professional world and I'm not sure I like them. As I often exclaim- Craaaaaaap!!!!!!!
Before I churn out more gibberish, and vent randomly, guess I should end here...
Fee Aman Illaah!
I'm feeling soooo under the weather its not even funny! But there is a reason for it.. apart from the fact that one Ed promised to run a story on Saturday- and didn't. I'm not even surprised, kinda don't care. If I didn't know better, I'd say I was losing interest. Although I love to write, and I will always do that, even if I get published only on my own blog!!! Ha!
I'm excited about Ramadan, I'm not feeling too well these days, hope the fasting will be easy and okay and fun.
Anyway, I'm dying to give out some names... some people I wanna get even with. But its not like I'm even so mad anymore, coz I know one thing. I'm not a specialized writer- like, say- most people have an area of specialization. Either sports, or politics, or automoblies, or reporting, or fashion, perhaps feature writing... and so on. As for me, I do a bit of everything. A bit of reporting, bit of feature writing, and ofcourse my good ol' random humour which I'm afraid doesn't really have a constant market. You get published once in a while, but most Eds want a specialized kick--- (sorry for the French) writer who can deliver a steady standard of work. (In fact with my experience and credentials, I'm surprised people saw it fit to publish my work all the times they did. Dad always says: "tauba tauba akhbaron ke kafi bure din aa gaye hain". I couldn't agree more, lol)
And you get essay-cloumnist status at 55, not at 22, (as I'd once hoped). At least not unless you're a Brit who is fairly young and gets away with writing crap. (Anyone guess who I'm talking about?).
I'm learning the ropes of the professional world and I'm not sure I like them. As I often exclaim- Craaaaaaap!!!!!!!
Before I churn out more gibberish, and vent randomly, guess I should end here...
Fee Aman Illaah!
Sunday, August 10, 2008
Hairstylist: Me? Ahem!
Salams once again
Guess what? Making a little girl's hair is no rocket science! Perhaps I should explain? I've always been really horrible at making girl's hair. Have, on more than one occasion produced completely hilarious hairstyles on kids after a sincere attempt to make a nice, neat hairstyle. My sisters are weary of me, no longer ask me to make their girls' hair.
I was always okay with my own lil one being not too well-endowed in the hair area (i mean you could just comb it, and there you were).. but now alhamdulillah, her hair is growing and hub tells me looks like a 'jeepri masi' whatever the heck that means. Rolled up sleeves, got to work.
Made two little ponytails. They reminded me of little horns (devil-type) but then I convinced myself she actually looked kind of.. cute. No seriously, I may one day be a most coveted children's stylist. *cough* erm... yeah so thats kinda far-fetched.
I just can't believe I'm blogging! Haven't done my Duhr, house is messy, baby wants a nap, and here I am, wasting precious time. Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
Guess what? Making a little girl's hair is no rocket science! Perhaps I should explain? I've always been really horrible at making girl's hair. Have, on more than one occasion produced completely hilarious hairstyles on kids after a sincere attempt to make a nice, neat hairstyle. My sisters are weary of me, no longer ask me to make their girls' hair.
I was always okay with my own lil one being not too well-endowed in the hair area (i mean you could just comb it, and there you were).. but now alhamdulillah, her hair is growing and hub tells me looks like a 'jeepri masi' whatever the heck that means. Rolled up sleeves, got to work.
Made two little ponytails. They reminded me of little horns (devil-type) but then I convinced myself she actually looked kind of.. cute. No seriously, I may one day be a most coveted children's stylist. *cough* erm... yeah so thats kinda far-fetched.
I just can't believe I'm blogging! Haven't done my Duhr, house is messy, baby wants a nap, and here I am, wasting precious time. Craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap!
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
People who rub me the wrong way
Salaams again.
Just a thought about the kind of people who make me mad, get me hot under the collar and generally make me feel as though I were a little worm, particularly slimy.
People who think they're IT! (gag!) I mean whats the problem with being down-to-earth and humble? Knowing you are but a beatable, friggin ordinary mortal!!!????
I've known some really awesome editors who have this extremely non-arrogant persona (didn't really make it with them in a big way cause there were no open slots for my kind of work) and some high-n-mighty, make you wanna kick their... ahem... well.. you get the picture. I once met an incharge (apparently thats a kind of editorial coordinator) who felt as though the entire responsibilty of running that magazine rested on her (in)capable shoulders. She treated me disdain (almost) and though she ran some of my work she never paid me! And when I complemented her on her article (why did it have to be genuinely good?) she did not so much as say thanks! talk about arrogant! If i were to give a name, I'm sure many would recognize this well-known staff-writer cum incharge. but I won't. I know I usually lack the kind of tact people expect, but hey, even I know the value of discretion! Suppose she googled her name, my blog came up bitching abt her, she'd know instantly who it was!
a) that would make her feel even more high-and-mighty (if thats possible)
b) Sadly, her opinion is highly respected, and she could bad-mouth me big time.
so with some sense of mystery I leave you with
Allah Ma'ak!
Just a thought about the kind of people who make me mad, get me hot under the collar and generally make me feel as though I were a little worm, particularly slimy.
People who think they're IT! (gag!) I mean whats the problem with being down-to-earth and humble? Knowing you are but a beatable, friggin ordinary mortal!!!????
I've known some really awesome editors who have this extremely non-arrogant persona (didn't really make it with them in a big way cause there were no open slots for my kind of work) and some high-n-mighty, make you wanna kick their... ahem... well.. you get the picture. I once met an incharge (apparently thats a kind of editorial coordinator) who felt as though the entire responsibilty of running that magazine rested on her (in)capable shoulders. She treated me disdain (almost) and though she ran some of my work she never paid me! And when I complemented her on her article (why did it have to be genuinely good?) she did not so much as say thanks! talk about arrogant! If i were to give a name, I'm sure many would recognize this well-known staff-writer cum incharge. but I won't. I know I usually lack the kind of tact people expect, but hey, even I know the value of discretion! Suppose she googled her name, my blog came up bitching abt her, she'd know instantly who it was!
a) that would make her feel even more high-and-mighty (if thats possible)
b) Sadly, her opinion is highly respected, and she could bad-mouth me big time.
so with some sense of mystery I leave you with
Allah Ma'ak!
Salaam wa Rahmatullah!
A lot is happening in my life these days. Will not elaboarte (ha!)
I read Sophie Kinsella's "Shopaholic in Manhattan". WhileI enjoyed it, I am inclined to believe I have read better books... I think it would classify as 'trash' if you asked my Dad, but then Jeff Archer, Daniel Steel and the likes are probably better 'trash'. Well, I will read more of the shopaholic series because it is entertaining.
I haven't read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' yet. I feel like I belong to a backward suburb, seriously, just about everyone has read that one!
Alhamdulillah, all's good and here is ane of my pieces. Kindly note that though this never got published, I've always been partial to this particular effort. Enjoy, if you will!
Bismillahir Rahmaan ir Raheem
Salat Wassalaam 'Ala Rasool Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa aalihi wa sallam)
DISAPPOINTMENTS... AND LIVING WITH THEM
I meet the word 'Disappointment' with a wry smile and a slight shake of the head. Is there anyone you know of, free of setbacks and mishaps in their lives? I for one, do not. After all, it is failure that actually gives birth to success. Probably the worst thing I can do is to dwell on my downfalls and feel bad about them. I daresay, my life, albeit short, has seen its share of embarrassments and discouraging episodes.
The pain felt at loss of love is perhaps the most brutal of all. It is one thing to go red in the face when you promptly forget a speech when on stage and stutter unbelievably in a worthless attempt to make things right. Until some time back, the hair on the back of my neck rose in embarrassment as I thought of this particular episode. I was giving a speech so perfectly prepared I knew it would fetch me the first prize, and halfway through it, my mind went blank and I stood on the stage, in front of at least 500 people, dumbfounded. When I pulled out the transcript from my pocket moments later, I realized the point I had stopped wasn't easy to find and I began to stutter. Once I did locate my mess-up point, the speech had lost all coherence and after a few mortifying moments, it ended. That was disappointment, sure, but it was nothing compared to the pain of love. That is real torment. A few years down the line, you forget about such incidents like the aforementioned, and in fact, you grow as a person because of them. But if you can deal with heartache, you can handle pretty much anything.
Then there are generally nonplussing occurrences in our day-to-day lives. I once emailed a potential employer, addressing her as Dear Sir, every time I sent a mail. Her name had led me to believe it was a man that I was corresponding with. Few days later, the woman called me and said my article had been picked for publication but I had been addressing her as a man all the while! Imagine my discomfort when I heard that... Or the time when someones toddler screamed the parents' secret nicknames of each other at a party, on the top of his lungs. Lets just say, they (the pet names) weren't exactly... noble. Or maybe when your infant hollers for milk in public, and as everyone presumably understands with the weird gestures she makes, that no, its not the bottle she's talking about! There are umpteen such instances that I could relate, that have occurred with me or with the people around me. But I feel my message can be delivered easily enough with the ones I have told. That its okay to be embarrassed. As time goes on, we laugh at ourselves, on the very same events that made us cringe with chagrin before.
Similarly, the best healer for heartache is time. Or perhaps secretly shed tears which help to absolve the heart of misery, bit by bit. We all have had our fateful junctures of grief, and it is easy to get bitter, and lose interest in life, in general. What takes real courage is to face our disappointments, look them in the eye, and abolish their very roots. Life goes on, in its monotony, caring little if we are torn apart or hurting inside. And do not worry, I wouldn't dream of delving into the gory details of my heartbreaks. With some luck, I shall soon be smiling my characteristic sardonic grin and swearing under my breath in cynicism on the very latest one.
Excuse me, if this has been a waste of perfectly good time... but the whole purpose behind it was to heal, myself, and others who, like me, have a knack of getting into sticky situations. And of course, to expand and contract simultaneously, fourteen muscles of your face, thereby forming a rare, upward curve of the lips. This complex reaction of the human face is otherwise known as a 'smile'! And I call it rare, because nowadays, a genuine smile, from within, is indeed, unique.
So, until the next time I infiltrate your inbox with my confused meanderings of the pen, keep smiling! Sardonically grinning already, khaki.
I read Sophie Kinsella's "Shopaholic in Manhattan". WhileI enjoyed it, I am inclined to believe I have read better books... I think it would classify as 'trash' if you asked my Dad, but then Jeff Archer, Daniel Steel and the likes are probably better 'trash'. Well, I will read more of the shopaholic series because it is entertaining.
I haven't read 'A Thousand Splendid Suns' yet. I feel like I belong to a backward suburb, seriously, just about everyone has read that one!
Alhamdulillah, all's good and here is ane of my pieces. Kindly note that though this never got published, I've always been partial to this particular effort. Enjoy, if you will!
Bismillahir Rahmaan ir Raheem
Salat Wassalaam 'Ala Rasool Allah (sallallahu alaihi wa aalihi wa sallam)
DISAPPOINTMENTS... AND LIVING WITH THEM
I meet the word 'Disappointment' with a wry smile and a slight shake of the head. Is there anyone you know of, free of setbacks and mishaps in their lives? I for one, do not. After all, it is failure that actually gives birth to success. Probably the worst thing I can do is to dwell on my downfalls and feel bad about them. I daresay, my life, albeit short, has seen its share of embarrassments and discouraging episodes.
The pain felt at loss of love is perhaps the most brutal of all. It is one thing to go red in the face when you promptly forget a speech when on stage and stutter unbelievably in a worthless attempt to make things right. Until some time back, the hair on the back of my neck rose in embarrassment as I thought of this particular episode. I was giving a speech so perfectly prepared I knew it would fetch me the first prize, and halfway through it, my mind went blank and I stood on the stage, in front of at least 500 people, dumbfounded. When I pulled out the transcript from my pocket moments later, I realized the point I had stopped wasn't easy to find and I began to stutter. Once I did locate my mess-up point, the speech had lost all coherence and after a few mortifying moments, it ended. That was disappointment, sure, but it was nothing compared to the pain of love. That is real torment. A few years down the line, you forget about such incidents like the aforementioned, and in fact, you grow as a person because of them. But if you can deal with heartache, you can handle pretty much anything.
Then there are generally nonplussing occurrences in our day-to-day lives. I once emailed a potential employer, addressing her as Dear Sir, every time I sent a mail. Her name had led me to believe it was a man that I was corresponding with. Few days later, the woman called me and said my article had been picked for publication but I had been addressing her as a man all the while! Imagine my discomfort when I heard that... Or the time when someones toddler screamed the parents' secret nicknames of each other at a party, on the top of his lungs. Lets just say, they (the pet names) weren't exactly... noble. Or maybe when your infant hollers for milk in public, and as everyone presumably understands with the weird gestures she makes, that no, its not the bottle she's talking about! There are umpteen such instances that I could relate, that have occurred with me or with the people around me. But I feel my message can be delivered easily enough with the ones I have told. That its okay to be embarrassed. As time goes on, we laugh at ourselves, on the very same events that made us cringe with chagrin before.
Similarly, the best healer for heartache is time. Or perhaps secretly shed tears which help to absolve the heart of misery, bit by bit. We all have had our fateful junctures of grief, and it is easy to get bitter, and lose interest in life, in general. What takes real courage is to face our disappointments, look them in the eye, and abolish their very roots. Life goes on, in its monotony, caring little if we are torn apart or hurting inside. And do not worry, I wouldn't dream of delving into the gory details of my heartbreaks. With some luck, I shall soon be smiling my characteristic sardonic grin and swearing under my breath in cynicism on the very latest one.
Excuse me, if this has been a waste of perfectly good time... but the whole purpose behind it was to heal, myself, and others who, like me, have a knack of getting into sticky situations. And of course, to expand and contract simultaneously, fourteen muscles of your face, thereby forming a rare, upward curve of the lips. This complex reaction of the human face is otherwise known as a 'smile'! And I call it rare, because nowadays, a genuine smile, from within, is indeed, unique.
So, until the next time I infiltrate your inbox with my confused meanderings of the pen, keep smiling! Sardonically grinning already, khaki.
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Back to square one!
AssalamuAlykum wa rahmatullah!
I haven't cribbed, complained or vented in days!! Alhamdulillah I'm fine, but just a tad frustrated. to hell with the editors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suffice ot to say that in my imagination, i see offices of certain publications being ripped apart by a ferocious earthquake, and a divine voice saying "this is punishment, for abandoning perfectly good articles from khaki"...... and the editor begs forgiveness... and I'm tempted to say rather coolly- "Who would have known you'd learn a lesson?"
Sigh. That was my imagination running wild. Its about time my writing pursuits ran into some seriously good luck, or for that matter, some seriously biased (towards me) Eds. Seriously, I don't know anyone as easily disheartened as myself. I mean I only started writing professionally this year! What do I expect? Eds running after me when I don't even have the required qualifications? crap, I tell you!
Well, whether or not I MAKE it one day into the dog-eat-dog world of writing, I know one thing. Its all about destiny and the will of the Almighty!
Ma'assalaamah
I haven't cribbed, complained or vented in days!! Alhamdulillah I'm fine, but just a tad frustrated. to hell with the editors!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Suffice ot to say that in my imagination, i see offices of certain publications being ripped apart by a ferocious earthquake, and a divine voice saying "this is punishment, for abandoning perfectly good articles from khaki"...... and the editor begs forgiveness... and I'm tempted to say rather coolly- "Who would have known you'd learn a lesson?"
Sigh. That was my imagination running wild. Its about time my writing pursuits ran into some seriously good luck, or for that matter, some seriously biased (towards me) Eds. Seriously, I don't know anyone as easily disheartened as myself. I mean I only started writing professionally this year! What do I expect? Eds running after me when I don't even have the required qualifications? crap, I tell you!
Well, whether or not I MAKE it one day into the dog-eat-dog world of writing, I know one thing. Its all about destiny and the will of the Almighty!
Ma'assalaamah
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